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强调不允许作者和他姐姐不能触碰这些花。
To our surprise, Dad was mad about it, yelling at us,
“ Don’t you know touching
is not allowed? What on earth ha
ve you done? ”
的使用加强了语气，凸显了父亲的生气。
赏析： 反义疑问句和 on earth
Example 2
原文内容： 母亲去世，哥哥外出。父女相约吃饭，
引发了女儿对母亲和哥哥的思念，父亲读
懂了女儿内心的想法，安慰女儿。母亲在天堂一定希望他们过得快乐，现在他们需要做的就是珍惜身边的人。
Seeing this, my father lovingly held my hands
and said to me , “Sweetheart, I
believe
your mother must want you to live happily, so say goodbye to the past and
embrace the present. Your brother and I will always be with you.
”
赏析： 情感类的对话要求感人，触及内心，这点此对话做的不错。但是小编也要对此对话
提出点意见 1）文中的 and said to me 完全没有必要，因为对话对象非常清楚，肯定和我说。
2） your mother 显得太疏远，亲人间相互称呼用
Mom即可，更显真实，贴近生活。
Example 3
原文内容： 作者家突然停电，虽然弟弟觉得停电时间非常无聊，但是作者却非常享受停电时间，享受“没有现代电子科技带来的干扰”的宁静片刻。
Bzzz! The lights
return. “ Yeah, no more candles! ” My mother yells, pulling
me away
from my fantasy.
赏析： 对话简洁自然，表达了说话者恢复用电时候的兴奋，对话外面的
dialogue tag 也很
出色，分词的使用既丰富了语言也推动了情节的进一步发展。
Ex a mp l e 4
原 文 内 容 ： 主 人 公 J en n y 通 过 自 身 的 劳 动 获 得 了 心 爱 的 项 链 ， 形 影 不 离 。 父 亲 每日 给 她 讲 睡 前 故 事 。 父 亲 故 意 试 探 女 儿 ， 问 是 否 可 以 把 项 链 给 他 。 J e n ny 深 爱 爸 爸
但不舍自己努力得来的项链。
A w ee k l a t e r , h e r f a t he r o n c e a g a i n a s k e d J e n ny a f t e r h er s t o r y. “ J e n n y , y o u l o v e m e, d on ’ t y ou ? G i v e m e y ou r p e a r l s , o k ay ? “ D a d d y , w h y m u s t y ou a s k f o r t h e p e a r l s ? ” J e n n y r e f u s e d a ga i n. “ N ot o nl y d i d I f i n i s h a l l
t h o s e c ho r e s , b ut a l s o I s p e n t t he d o l l ar b i l l g i v e n f o r m y b i r t hd a y j u s t t o p a y f or i t. ” Th e y b o t h f el l i n t o s i l e n c e. The n he r f a t he r s mi l ed ，
c o mf or t i n g h e r w i t h a w a r m h u g. “ T h a t ’ s o k e y , d ar l i n g. G o o d n i g h t. ” Se v e r a l d a y s l a t er , wh e n J e n n y ’ s f at h e r c a me i n t o r ea d h e r a s t o r y a s us u a l , h e w as s u r p r i s ed t o f i n d s o me t h i ng u nd e r t h e s t o r y b o ok , w h i c h t ur n e d o ut t o b e t h e n e c k l a c e. “ D a d d y , n o w y o u c a n h av e i t. ” J e n n y r ai s ed h e r h e a d,
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“ Y o u k n o w, I l o v e y o u. ” p u l l ed s o met h i ng ou t o f h i s s h i n i n g.
“ Th e
H e r f a t h e r w a s m o v e d b e y o nd w o r d s. S l o wl y , h e po c k et. I t wa s a p r e t t y ne c k l a c e wi t h r e a l pe a r l s
t o g i v e,
t he mo r e y o u a r e l i k el y
mo r e y o u a r e wi l l i n g t o
r e c e i v e. J Tha t ’ s t h e r e al me a n i n g o f s ha r i n g a n d g i v i n g. o n t ” He r f at h e r h el p e d l i t t l e n n y p u t
h e n e c k l a c e . “ Yo u k n o w, I l o v e y ou , e o ne. ”
赏析：此文运用了大量的对话，主要是考虑到与前文的协同。大量的父女间的对
话 穿插一些旁白或动作描写很好地刻画了人物之间的冲突，细腻生动地刻画了人物心情。一般的读后续写不建议用太多的对话。适当的对话可以打破单调，推动情节，刻 画 人 物 性 格 。 对 于 此 文 中 的 对 话 ， 小 编 也 想 提 出 点 个 人 的 意 见 ： 1 ） “ N o t o n l y
d i d I
f i n i s h a l l t ho s e c h or e s , b ut a l s o I
t. ”
s p e n t t h e d ol l a r b i l l g i v e n f or
的
my b i r t hd a y j u s t t o p a y f o r i
此 句 似 乎 为 了 使 用 n ot o n l y ? , b u t a l s o
倒装句型而写对话，显得很不自然。语句太长反而不能表达小女孩当时的生气。建 议 改 为 :
“ I t ’ s m i n e ! M y e f f o r t s ! ” 反 而 显 得 简 洁 自 然 ， 同 样 达 到 了 效 果 ，
还有一处标点的使用也有误。
符合人在生气时候的说话方式：短句！不完整句！2） 请 看 ： J e nn y r a i s e d h e r h e a d ,
此 处 的 逗 号 要 改 为 句 号 。 只 能 作 为 动 作 描 写 ，
而 不 是 q u e s t i o n t a g 。
Ex a mp l e 5
原 文内容： 这是一个哲理故事，讲述一位商人儿子去向智者寻找快乐秘诀。智者让年轻人带着两汤勺油绕城一周不能将油洒落。智者待年轻人回来后问他是否欣赏到城堡的美景，年轻人哑口无言。然后智者重新让这年轻人带着两勺油绕城一周，结果??
“
But whe r e a r e t h e t wo d r op s of o i l I g a v e y o u ? ”
“
a s k e d t h e wi s e I h ad f
o r g ot t e n t he
ma n. Emb a r r a s s e d a g a i n, t h e y o u ng m an a p o l og i z ed ,
s p t ot a l l y. M y o n l y c o nc e r n w a s t he a t t r a c t i v e s i g h t s. ” “ B u t y o u h a v e g o t t h e h a p pi n e s s. ” Smi l e d t h e wi s e man ?
“ B u t w h e r e a r e t h e t wo d r op s o f o i l I l o we r e d g a v e y ou ? ” a s k e d t h e w i s e m a n.
He
h i s h e a d a n d f o un d t h a t t h er e
wa s no t h i n g l e f t i n h i s s p o on ,
“ I
d on ’ t
a s t o ni s h e d a n d e mb a r r a s s ed. Th en t h e wi s e ma n s mi l e d g en e r ou s l y ,
b l a me y ou. I j u s t w an t y o u t o r ea l i z e t h e s e c r e t o f h ap p i ne s s y o ur s el f. N o w, c o u l d y ou t e l l m e a b o ut y o u r t h o u g h t s ? ” T he y o u ng m an t h o u gh t f o r a w h i l e a n d s l o wl y r e p l i e d, “ t h e t r u t h o f h a p pi n e s s i s h o l d i n g o u r d r ea ms t i gh t l y b u t ne v e r f ai l i ng t o wa t c h t h e b e a ut i f ul s c e n e r y ar o u nd u s. ”
赏析：此文的对话主要是用来揭示故事的寓意，通常出现在故事的末尾。这样的对话一定要写出深度厚度，才能
博得老师的高分。建议可以使用强调句。此文中也
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有 一 个 标 点 瑕 疵 。 请 看 ： The n t h e w i s e m an s mi l e d g en e r ou s l y ,
此 句 的 逗 号 也
要 改 为 句 号 ， 作 为 动 作 描 写 穿 插 其 中 ， 而 不 是
qu e s t i o n t a g 。
他山石可攻玉 |这些 “恐惧 ”情绪的表达你都用过吗？
一篇出自美国初中生的看图说话
与 2018 年 6 月浙江英语高考“读后续写”酷似！
Write a short story based on the pictures below in not less than 100 words.
One weekend, my parents decided to bring my brother and I to the recreational jungle. We
were very excited as we had not been there before. My brother and I talked about all the bears, tigers and reindeer we were going to see. We really thought that a recreational jungle was like any other jungle.
When we arrived, we dashed into the jungle, wanting to explore its length and breadth . We obediently followed our parents at first but found it boring. Just then, a rabbit rushed out. I screamed in delight and ran after it. My brother follow ed quickly behind . We kept
running, always keeping our eyes on the rabbit. The rabbit got tired of running and decided to hide in its burrow .
It was only then that we realized that we did not know where we were. The trees looked
unfamiliar
and there were no more jungle paths for us to follow. We were scared as we
realized that we were lost. Night was approaching and the hooting of the owl sent shivers down our spines. I began to cry as I was feeling tired, hungry and sleepy. My brother
comforted me by letting me sleep on his lap. I soon fell asleep dreaming of bears waiting to eat me up.
Suddenly, I woke up. My brother was shaking me and telling them to get up. We could hear voices coming our way! We shouted with all our might that we were lost. We soon saw beams of light from countless torches. Then we heard our parents' voices. We were safe! My brother and I ran to our parents and embrace d them emotionally . We were so happy to see them again that we vowed we never wanted to be separated from them ever again.
Notes：
burrow : a hole in the ground dug by an animal such as a rabbit, especially to live in
send shivers down sb's spines: to make someone feel very frightened
vow: to make a determined decision
Study the following
o ne’s
the following examples
and learn how
to show
fear
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Example 1 - Fear:
M i d n i g h t , a n d s o m e o n e p o u n d e d o n t h e f r o n t d o o r. \T h e m o v i e g o t o u t a t 1 1. M o l l y c r a w l e d o u t o f b e d a n d
t i p t o e d d o w n s t a i r s. A s h a d o w y f i g u r e s h o w e d t h r o u g h t h e f r o s t e d g l a s s i n t h e f r o n t d o o r. F e a r n i b b l e d a t h e r m a k i n g h e r k n e e s w o b b l e.
M o m ' s v o i c e e c h o e d i n s i d e h e r h e a d. \r e a w a y. \a s e , g o a w a y ,\
Key Words - pounded, crawled, tiptoed, shadowy, fear nibbled, wobble,
echoed, crouched, pressed, dry-as-dirt, choked.
Comments ：
1）例 1 中大量运用了短句，戏剧性的短句能够增强紧张感
2）这些关键字大部分都是强有力且活跃动词。
3）简短的 dialogue
有效推动了情节发展，营造了栩栩如生的恐惧的场景。
It's Your turn:
Example 2 - Fear:
I can feel the sweat drench my skin, the throbbing of my own eyes, the ringing screams vibrating in my ears, and the thumping of my heart against my chest. My fingers are curled into a fist, nails digging rapid breathing,
but I can feel the oxygen
into my palm. I can't hear
flooding
my
in and out of my lungs.
Hesitantly, my eyes look at the dead corpse before me, the person I killed. Fear tortures
my guts, churning
knocking
my stomach
in tense cramps.
Fear engulfs
my
conscience, all other thoughts exhausted.
However,
aside. Fear overwhelms my body,
making it drastically most of all, the fear is making me
calm and that is what scares me the most. Key words
： _____________________________
Your treasure:____________________________
Example 3 - Fear
Time passed slowly. Cathy stayed hidden within the darkness, feeling every beat of her heart pounding on the cold stone she lay upon. The wine and ale
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