发布时间 : 星期四 文章安徽省2013届高考英语书面表达专题指导更新完毕开始阅读7c19fdd476eeaeaad1f330ee
4）就该篇文章的遣词造句而言，interest you, safely-guarded等词语的运用增强了文章的表达力度，总体还是相当不错的。
5）检查拼写、标点和语法错误。
A. “wiil come”应该成“are coming”，因为come，go，leave等瞬间动词ichangyong进行时标将来。
B. “，they”此处可将逗号改为句号，“they”首字母大写；或真该为which引导的非限制性定于从句。
C. 根据语意，此处“lies”应改为“lying”，分词短语做后置定语。
D. “meanwhile”是副词而非连词，不能连接两个句子。此处，可在“meanwhile”前加“and”；或者逗号改称句号，变成两个句子。
E. “And you can find a hospital and a modern shopping center nearby.”此句改为there be 句型：“And there is a hospital and a modern shopping center as well nearby.”使前后举行一致，行文更连贯。
F. 用词不当，此处“farther”应该为“further”。 6) 再次检查卷面是否整洁。
下面是修改后的文章：
Dear Jane,
I’m very glad to hear you are coming to Beidahe to spend your summer holiday with your family. I’ve just read several ads for house rent from the Internet, which might interest you, I think.
One of the flat lying in the city seems to be suitable. It is only one km from the flat to the freeway leading to the airport, and meanwhile, there is a safely-guarded parking area. And there is a hospital and a modern shopping center as well nearby. The good designed flat looks fine and there is enough room for your family.
If you need further information, you may look up the webside “www.houserent.com.cn.”. Best wishes!
Yours, Li Hua
运用以上讲解的书面表达写作技巧，我们再来看下面这样一篇书面表达: 原题：
联合国教科文组织某考察团正在我国某乡村参观考察.假定你是接待人员,请根据下列提示以发言稿的形式简要介绍这个村的情况:
大小:近100户人家,约500口人。
变化:过去很穷,78年后变化很大.人们生活比以前好多了。现已旧貌换新颜。
教育:原来的学校很小,现已经过改建.新建的教学楼有4层,是村里最美的建筑物.村所有学龄儿童在此免费就读。
注意:
(1)要点齐全,前后连贯。 (2)词数:100-120之间。
分析: ? 根据试题中所提供要点,将所需要的语言材料准备好。可以只列出主要的词、词组、短语及句型。
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① 100 families and 500 people ② used to be very poor/ change a lot/ richer than before/ take on a new look ③ was very small/ have been rebuilt ④ newly-built/have 4 storeys/ most beautiful building ⑤ school-age children/ enjoy free education ? 扩展成句,连句成篇；注意体裁、格式。本文为一篇发言稿，其格式与口头通知大体相同。因此，短文应有称呼，开场及结束语。既然介绍的是小村，所使用的人称应为it。应注意时态，语态的正确运用，并适当使用一些连接成分将所列的语句连成完整的语篇。全文应结构紧凑，前后连贯。
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to our village! ①This village is very small. It has nearly 100 families and about 500 people. It used to be very poor. ②It has changed a lot since 1978 ③. People here ④are richer than before. Now it is taking on a new look.
In the past, the school here was very small⑤. ⑥Now it has been rebuilt. ⑦The newly built teaching building. ⑧has 4 storeys and it is the most beautiful building in the village. All the school-age children can study here. ⑨They enjoy free education in it. ⑩Thank you.
我们可以看到，现在这篇书面表达要点齐全，表达也没语法错误，但语言平淡，表达方式单一，逻辑性也差，因此很难在考试的评分中得到较高档次。如果使用一些恰当的连接词，并尽量使用较高级的词汇和较复杂的语法结构，这个平淡的文章就会有很大改观，甚至会变得更精彩。
Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to our village! ①This village is a small one with/which has nearly 100 families and about 500 people. It used to be very poor. ②However, it has changed a lot since 1978 ③and has been developing very fast. People here ④have/live a much better life than before . Now it is taking on a new look.
In the past, the school here was very small ⑤and most children couldn't afford to go to school. ⑥But now it has been rebuilt ⑦and the newly built teaching building ⑧which has 4 storeys is the most beautiful one in the village. All the school-age children can study here. ⑨What's more/Also, they enjoy free education.
⑩May you enjoy your stay here/May you have a pleasant time here! Thank you. 评析： ① 用介词短语作定语或用含定语从句的主从复合句。 ② 语句间缺少连接成分However。 ③ 表现作者对现在乡村的发展的喜悦心情,也起到承上启下作用。 ④ 较高级词汇。 ⑤ 作者对过去孩子们上不起学表示遗憾和同情。 ⑥ 语句间缺少连接成分,添加But。 ⑦ 语句间缺少承上启下连接成分and。 ⑧ 用含定语从句的主从复合句。 ⑨ 此处应添加一个承接上下文的过渡性词语，如“What's more/Also”，这样，前后就显得更加连贯了。
⑩ 如能适当发挥，在结尾处添加像“May you enjoy your stay here/May you have a pleasant time here!”的表希望，祝愿的语句，会使全文更加完整，使文章读起来更亲切，完全达到与读者进行交流的目的，从而收到更佳的表达效果。
④为较高级词汇。 ①⑧为较复杂句式.
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②⑥⑦⑨这些连接词的恰当使用无疑能使全文过渡自然，令读者对后续的句子产生心理的期待和准备，增强句子间的逻辑性和紧凑性。
③⑤⑩适当增加句子的感情色彩，增加一些人情味，使文章读起来更亲切，完全达到与读者进行交流的目的。
以上我们可以看出，在考生若在文章中使用一些较高级词汇或复杂句子结构以及恰当的连接词，能提高文章水准，在考试的评分中得到较高的档次。
总之，希望同学们通过以上启发，灵活运用，坚持用科学的方法多写多练，就一定能写出高质量的英语作文，在高考中取得成功。
第七节 高考英语书面表达常用修辞手法
考生向要写出一篇好的作文，最忌语言枯燥无味，好的习作文章语言应该生动形象。而恰当地运用修辞手法，可以使文字新鲜活泼、具体逼真，大大增强艺术表现力，扩大语言表达的范围；而且还可以激发读者的想象，给人留下深刻的印象。下面介绍一些英语作文中常用的修辞手法。
1. 比喻 (metaphor)
比喻就是打比方。可分为明喻和暗喻： （1）明喻 (simile)：
用like, as, as...as, as if(though) 或用其他词语指出两个不同事物的相似之处。 例如：
My love's like a red, red rose. 我的爱人像一朵红红的玫瑰花。
The man can't be trusted. He is as slippery as an eel. 那个人不可信赖。他像鳗鱼一样狡猾。
He jumped as if he had been stung.他像被蜇了似的跳了起来。
Childhood is like a swiftly passing dream. 童年就像一场疾逝的梦。 （2）暗喻 (metaphor)：
用一个词来指代与该词所指事物有相似特点的另外一个事物。 例如：
He has a heart of stone. 他有一颗铁石心肠。 The world is a stage. 世界是一个大舞台。 2. 换喻(metonymy)
用某一事物的名称代替另外一个与它关系密切的事物的名称，只要一提到其中一种事物，就会使人联想到另一种。比如用the White House 代替美国政府或者总统， 用the bottle来代替wine 或者alcohol， 用the bar 来代替the legal profession，用 crown代替 king等。例如：
His purse would not allow him that luxury. 他的经济条件不允许他享受那种奢华。 The mother did her best to take care of the cradle. 母亲尽最大努力照看孩子。 He succeeded to the crown in 1848. 他在1848年继承了王位。 3. 提喻 (synecdoche)
指用部分代表整体或者用整体代表部分，以特殊代表一般或者用一般代表特殊。 例如：
He earns his bread by writing. 他靠写作挣钱谋生。
The farms were short of hands during the harvest season. 在收获季节里农场缺乏劳动力。
Australia beat Canada at cricket. 澳大利亚队在板球比赛中击败了加拿大队。 He is the Newton of this century. 他是这个世纪的牛顿。
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4. 拟人 (personification)
把事物或者概念当作人或者具备人的品质的写法叫拟人。 例如：
My heart was singing. 我的心在歌唱。
This time fate was smiling to him. 这一次命运朝他微笑了。
The flowers nodded to her while she passed. 当她经过的时候花儿向她点头致意。 The wind whistled through the trees. 风穿过树丛，树叶哗哗作响。 5. 委婉语(euphemism)
用温和的、间接的词语代替生硬的、粗俗的词语，以免直接说出不愉快的事实冒犯别人或者造成令人窘迫、沮丧的局面。
例如：
用to fall asleep; to cease thinking; to pass away; to go to heaven; to leave us 代替 to die 用senior citizens代替old people
用 a slow learner或者an under achiever代替a stupid pupil 用weight watcher代替 fat people
用mental hospital 代替 madhouse或者 asylum 用emotionally disturbed代替mad
用washroom, men's / women's room代替 lavatory 用 handicapped代替 crippled
用low income brackets; underprivileged; disadvantaged 代替 poor people 6. 双关 (pun)
用同音异义或者一词二义来达到诙谐幽默的效果：表面上是一个意思，而实际上却暗含另一个意思，这种暗含的意思才是句子真正的目的所在。
例如：
A cannonball took off his legs, so he laid down his arms. (arms可指手臂或者武器) 一发炮弹打断了他的腿，所以他缴械投降了。
“Can I try on that gown in the window?” asked a would-be customer.
“Certainly not, madam!” replied the salesman. 我可以试穿一下橱窗里的那件睡袍吗？或者：我可以在橱窗里试穿那件睡袍吗？
Seven days without water make one weak (week). 七天没有水使一个人虚弱。或者：七天没有水就是一周没有水。
7. 反语 (irony)
使用与真正意义相反的词，正话反说或者反话正说，从对立的角度运用词义来产生特殊的效果。
下面就是莎士比亚的戏剧 Julius Caesar 中的一个运用反语的很好的例子，Brutus出于野心刺杀了 Caesar, Caesar 的好友Antony 讥讽Brutus 说：
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest— For Brutus is an honorable man; So are they all, all honorable men— Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Brutus says he was ambitious; And Brutus is an honorable man.
在 Antony 的话里反复使用 honorable这个词就是一个反语的例子。 8. 矛盾修饰 (oxymoron)
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