发布时间 : 星期二 文章新高考读后续写高分素材--微技能之细节描写 - 图文更新完毕开始阅读963a276e541810a6f524ccbff121dd36a32dc4e8
强调不允许作者和他姐姐不能触碰这些花。
To our surprise, Dad was mad about it, yelling at us, “ Don’t you know touching is not allowed? What on earth have you done?”
赏析：反义疑问句和on earth 的使用加强了语气，凸显了父亲的生气。
Example 2
原文内容：母亲去世，哥哥外出。父女相约吃饭， 引发了女儿对母亲和哥哥的思念，父亲读懂了女儿内心的想法，安慰女儿。母亲在天堂一定希望他们过得快乐，现在他们需要做的就是珍惜身边的人。
Seeing this, my father lovingly held my hands and said to me, “Sweetheart, I believe your mother must want you to live happily, so say goodbye to the past and embrace the present. Your brother and I will always be with you.”
赏析：情感类的对话要求感人，触及内心，这点此对话做的不错。但是小编也要对此对话
提出点意见1）文中的and said to me 完全没有必要，因为对话对象非常清楚，肯定和我说。2）your mother 显得太疏远，亲人间相互称呼用Mom 即可，更显真实，贴近生活。 Example 3
原文内容：作者家突然停电，虽然弟弟觉得停电时间非常无聊，但是作者却非常享受停电时间，享受“没有现代电子科技带来的干扰”的宁静片刻。
Bzzz! The lights return. “ Yeah, no more candles!” My mother yells, pulling me away from my fantasy.
赏析：对话简洁自然，表达了说话者恢复用电时候的兴奋，对话外面的dialogue tag也很
出色，分词的使用既丰富了语言也推动了情节的进一步发展。
Example 4
原文内容：主人公Jenny 通过自身的劳动获得了心爱的项链，形影不离。父亲每日给她讲睡前故事。父亲故意试探女儿，问是否可以把项链给他。Jenny深爱爸爸但不舍自己努力得来的项链。
A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story. “ Jenny, you love me, don’t you? Give me your pearls, okay? “ Daddy, why must you ask for the pearls?” Jenny refused again. “ Not only did I finish all those chores, but also I spent the dollar bill given for my birthday just to pay for it.”They both fell into silence. Then her father smiled，comforting her with a warm hug. “ That’s okey, darling. Good night.” Several days later, when Jenny’s father came in to read her a story as usual, he was surprised to find something under the story book, which turned out to be the necklace. “ Daddy, now you can have it.” Jenny raised her head,
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“ You know, I love you.” Her father was moved beyond words. Slowly, he pulled something out of his pocket. It was a pretty necklace with real pearls shining. “The more you are willing to give, the more you are likely to receive. That’s the real meaning of sharing and giving.” Her father helped Jenny put on the necklace . “ You know, I love you, little one.”
赏析：此文运用了大量的对话，主要是考虑到与前文的协同。大量的父女间的对
话穿插一些旁白或动作描写很好地刻画了人物之间的冲突，细腻生动地刻画了人物心情。一般的读后续写不建议用太多的对话。适当的对话可以打破单调，推动情节，刻画人物性格。对于此文中的对话，小编也想提出点个人的意见：1）“ Not only did I finish all those chores, but also I spent the dollar bill given for my birthday just to pay for it.” 此句似乎为了使用not only…, but also 的倒装句型而写对话，显得很不自然。语句太长反而不能表达小女孩当时的生气。建议改为: “ It’s mine! My efforts!” 反而显得简洁自然，同样达到了效果，符合人在生气时候的说话方式：短句！不完整句！2） 还有一处标点的使用也有误。请看：Jenny raised her head, 此处的逗号要改为句号。只能作为动作描写，而不是question tag。 Example 5
原文内容： 这是一个哲理故事，讲述一位商人儿子去向智者寻找快乐秘诀。智者让年轻人带着两汤勺油绕城一周不能将油洒落。智者待年轻人回来后问他是否欣赏到城堡的美景，年轻人哑口无言。然后智者重新让这年轻人带着两勺油绕城一周，结果……
“ But where are the two drops of oil I gave you?” asked the wise man. Embarrassed again, the young man apologized, “ I had forgotten the sp totally. My only concern was the attractive sights.” “ But you have got the happiness.” Smiled the wise man…
“ But where are the two drops of oil I gave you?” asked the wise man. He lowered his head and found that there was nothing left in his spoon, astonished and embarrassed. Then the wise man smiled generously, “I don’t blame you. I just want you to realize the secret of happiness yourself. Now, could you tell me about your thoughts?” The young man thought for a while and slowly replied, “ the truth of happiness is holding our dreams tightly but never failing to watch the beautiful scenery around us.”
赏析：此文的对话主要是用来揭示故事的寓意，通常出现在故事的末尾。这样的
对话一定要写出深度厚度，才能博得老师的高分。建议可以使用强调句。此文中也
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有一个标点瑕疵。请看：Then the wise man smiled generously, 此句的逗号也要改为句号，作为动作描写穿插其中，而不是question tag 。
他山石可攻玉|这些“恐惧”情绪的表达你都用过吗？
一篇出自美国初中生的看图说话
与2018年6月浙江英语高考“读后续写”酷似！
Write a short story based on the pictures below in not less than 100 words.
One weekend, my parents decided to bring my brother and I to the recreational jungle. We were very excited as we had not been there before. My brother and I talked about all the bears, tigers and reindeer we were going to see. We really thought that a recreational jungle was like any other jungle.
When we arrived, we dashed into the jungle, wanting to explore its length and breadth. We obediently followed our parents at first but found it boring. Just then, a rabbit rushed out. I screamed in delight and ran after it. My brotherfollowed quickly behind. We kept running, always keeping our eyes on the rabbit. The rabbit got tired of running and decided to hide in its burrow.
It was only then that we realized that we did not know where we were. The trees looked unfamiliar and there were no more jungle paths for us to follow. We werescared as we realized that we were lost. Night was approaching and the hooting of the owl sent shivers down our spines. I began to cry as I was feeling tired, hungry and sleepy. My brother comforted me by letting me sleep on his lap. I soon fell asleep dreaming of bears waiting to eat me up.
Suddenly, I woke up. My brother was shaking me and telling them to get up. We could hear voices coming our way! We shouted with all our might that we were lost. We soon saw beams of light from countless torches. Then we heard our parents' voices. We were safe! My brother and I ran to our parents and embraced them emotionally. We were so happy to see them again that we vowed we never wanted to be separated from them ever again. Notes：
burrow: a hole in the ground dug by an animal such as a rabbit, especially to live in send shivers down sb's spines: to make someone feel very frightened vow: to make a determined decision
Study the following the following examples and learnhow to show
one’s
fear
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Example 1 - Fear:
Midnight, and someone pounded on the front door. \Mom? Dad?\ Where were they? The movie got out at 11. Molly crawled out of bed and tiptoed downstairs. A shadowy figure showed through the frosted glass in the front door. Fear nibbled at her making her knees wobble.
Mom's voice echoed inside her head. \Remember, don't answer the door when we're away.\ Molly crouched, back pressed against the wall, mouth dry-as-dirt. \Please, go away,\ her words a choked whisper.
Key Words - pounded, crawled, tiptoed, shadowy, fear nibbled, wobble,
echoed, crouched, pressed, dry-as-dirt, choked.
Comments：
1）例1中大量运用了短句，戏剧性的短句能够增强紧张感 2）这些关键字大部分都是强有力且活跃动词。
3）简短的dialogue有效推动了情节发展，营造了栩栩如生的恐惧的场景。
It's Your turn: Example 2 - Fear:
I can feel the sweat drench my skin, the throbbing of my own eyes, the ringing screams vibrating in my ears, and the thumping of my heart against my chest. My fingers are curled into a fist, nails digging into my palm. I can't hear my rapid breathing, but I can feel the oxygen flooding in and out of my lungs. Hesitantly, my eyes look at the dead corpse before me, the person I killed. Fear tortures my guts, churning my stomach in tense cramps. Fear engulfs my conscience, knocking all other thoughts aside. Fear overwhelms my body, making it drastically exhausted. However, most of all, the fear is making me calm and that is what scares me the most. Key words：_____________________________ Your treasure:____________________________
Example 3 - Fear
Time passed slowly. Cathy stayed hidden within the darkness, feeling every beat of her heart pounding on the cold stone she lay upon. The wine and ale
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