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发布时间 : 星期日 文章大连朗阁雅思培训— 雅思大作文中常见的逻辑错误更新完毕开始阅读e92f3085a66e58fafab069dc5022aaea988f4123

大连朗阁雅思培训—雅思大作文中常见的逻辑错误

雅思大作文中常见的逻辑错误!写作文关键是逻辑和语言两个层面。逻辑是宏观框架,语法和词汇是微观结构。一个学生应该先学会如何做到“一针见血”地扣题论证,没有宏观扣题,只想通过堆砌句型和词汇很难考到理想的分数。今天咱们说说写作逻辑问题!

常见的逻辑错误在题目和段落扩展中都有出现~

01 审题逻辑错误-未抓准题眼

下面这个题目,常见的跑题观点有:“reading books可以增加知识”、“看书可以开拓视野”、“TV和Internet上有的知识更多”。

T1: Some people think reading books is more useful in developing young people’s languages skills and imagination than watching TV and surfing the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 为什么这些观点是跑题的呢?

因为这写观点丝毫没有提及“language skills and imagination”这个“目标关键词(goal keywords)”。目标关键词是主题关键词在题中执行的动作或者产生的效果,所以目标关键词是一个题目的“题眼”。一旦偏离“题眼”,必定下笔千言,离题万里。 再来对比下面这道题目:

T2: Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching television or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

在这个题目中,并未出现“language skills and imagination”这个明显的关键词,只出现了一个“better than”,限定条件更少,所以可以写更多的观点。但是这个题目对主题关键词有限定,因为这个题目讲到的是“reading stories”。

02 审题逻辑错误-单词误事

关键词汇的领悟错误,会导致整个题目的崩塌。那么由于词汇量的限制导致跑题的场景也很多。如下,很多同学qualification理解为“品质quality”,于是......

T3: Nowadays, it is widely accepted that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in a job. Do you agree or disagree?(x/y并列型)

题目里“national identities文化身份感”这个词汇很多同学不认识,所以写成其他的自己猜测的意思,然后跑题的情况也很多。比如说,有个学生考完后告诉我说“national identities”他猜测是“国家机密”,那么肯定要跑题。

T4: Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, However, feel these leading to loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

03 段落拓展中逻辑错误的情况

这类情况比较复杂,结合下面这个例子,大家可以自己思考一下~

T5: Some people think governments should focus the spending only on public services rather than wasting money on arts (music, printing, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree? 由于本题目是一种很多特点的题型,文章的论证应该结合一个正确的思路模板。 x/y选择型的基本模板

开头: I totally disagree with the viewpoint that…, because I believe X and Y are equally important. 主体1: There is no doubt that X is of great importance/significance. 主体2: However, I believe Y is equally important. First of all,__. Furthermore,__.

结尾: In conclusion, although the significance of X cannot be ignored, I believe Y is of equal importance.

于是,案例出现了:

学生版本1:偷换概念,隔山打牛

There is no doubt that public services are of great significance. First and foremost, human

development1 relies on public services that a country can provide. For instance, if a country was not able to provide general compulsory education2, which plays a vital role in public services, people in this country would not lead a life as good as others living in those countries that have the ability to provide this. What’s more3, public services are of significance to the satisfactory of members of society to a great extent. Only if a country has perfect public services, such as excellent education system, well-maintained medical system, wonderful transport system and stuff like that, can people living there reach a high level of happiness.

错误点评错误01观点空大泛

文章写到了“human development”,这个空大泛的观点,由于观点太大,他后文的任何一个观点都会被此观点囊括,进而会出现观点的“交叉重复”。 错误02偷换概念“隔山打牛”

偷换概念的逻辑是:“义务教育”是“公共服务”的重要部分,所以提供了“education”,社会就会进步。所以此处已变成论证“义务教育”而不是直接论证“public services”。 错误03前文重复

前面“human development”,然后他又再次写出一个空泛的观点“social satisfactory民众对社会的满意”,所以最终两个观点“既空泛又重复”。

学生版本2:以举例代替说理

Another example to back up my belief is the development of art could improve some other industry like tourism and economy. For example, if governments pay more money on art galleries, which might attract more tourists such as the Louvre Museum in France. In addition, Japan is famous for its cartoon which is an important part of art, so that the Japanese government invests much funds to cartoon’s making and encourage cartoonists. Nowadays, cartoon plays a very significant role in Japanese economy.

错误点评错误01以举例代替说理

议论文是“以理服人”,例子辅助解释,做到“有理有据”。这位同学本来通过“Louvre Museum”的例子说明“政府投资艺术的必要性”很有效,但可惜没论证。

而他的做法是在“In addition”之后又写了一个Japan的例子,导致出现多重逻辑错误,堆砌例子忽略说理。

错误02未能先“有理”后“有据”

在第二个逻辑部分中,此同学是想表达的是:cartoon之于Japan,正如罗浮宫之于法国,那么就应该在“in addition”说,art can boost economy这个观点. 然而这个同学转到日本的卡通很出名,以一个例子“喧宾夺主”。

议论文正确的论证逻辑是:先有观点,再写例子;即:先“有理”后“有据”。

举例论证是很常见的论证方法,但切记“大量举例不说明”,否则就会将核心“本末倒置”。 由于篇幅问题,文中的语法错误不再列举~

最后分享一篇Adam吴老师的范文: 雅思大作文范文赏析

Despite the undeniable importance of the general public services mentioned, it would be

unreasonable and undesirable for the state to allot its financial budgets disproportionately, with one sector overwhelmingly outweighing another. (此句承接上文) From my perspective, the fiscal

appropriation in art and recreation is by no means a waste of money; on the contrary, it is equally

crucial to meet the public need as well as boost the local economy.(此句为“启下”的过渡句,并作为下一段的主题句)

Art and culture, including music, theatre and opera, can be a historical tradition in various countries. The West End theatre of London, comparable with the Broadway theatre in New York City, is a good case in point. Not only does the West End theatre reflect the history and culture of the United Kingdom, it also serves as a landmark of Central London, therefore becoming the national treasure of the proud British. (使用了美国百老汇和英国伦敦西区剧院的例子,去论证“艺术是一个国家的文化传统”的论点。)More importantly, both the West End theatre and the Broadway theatre are major tourists attractions, offering entertainments for local Londoners and New Yorkers and earning remarkable

revenue from oversea visitors. Hence, governmental funding in art and theatre would be paid off.(通过最后一句照应题目“政府应该重视art”收束全文,同时与本段主题句遥相呼应,乃本文画龙点睛之笔。) 人类在漫长的岁月里,创造了丰富多彩的音乐文化,从古至今,从东方到西方,中国文化艺术,渊源流长。 我国最早的歌曲可以追溯到原始社会,例如传说中伏羲时的【网罟之歌】,诗经中的【关关雉鸠】,无论是思想内容,还是艺术形式,都已发展到很高的水平。

我们华人音乐有着悠久的历史,有着独特的风格,在世界上,希腊的悲剧和喜剧,印度的梵剧和中国的京剧,被称为【世界三大古老戏剧】,而京剧则是国之瑰宝,是我们华人的骄傲,亦是世界上最璀璨的一颗明珠。 你可知道高山流水遇知音的故事?你可知道诸葛亮身居空城,面对敌兵压境,饮酒抚琴的故事? 列宁曾经说过:我简直每天都想听奇妙而非凡的音乐,我常常自豪的,也许是幼稚的心情想,人类怎么会创造出这样的奇迹?一个伟大的无产阶级革命家,为什么对音乐如此痴狂?音乐究竟能给我们带来什么? 泰戈尔说:我举目漫望着各处,尽情的感受美的世界,在我视力所及的地方,充满了弥漫在天地之间的乐曲。 【二】 音乐,就是灵魂的漫步,是心事的诉说,是情愫的流淌,是生命在徜徉,它可以让寂寞绽放成一朵花,可以让时光婉约成一首诗,可以让岁月凝聚成一条河,流过山涧,流过小溪,流入你我的麦田…… 我相信所有的人,都曾被一首歌感动过,或为其旋律,或某句歌词,或没有缘由,只是感动,有的时候,我们喜欢一首歌,并不是这首歌有多么好听,歌词写的多么好,而是歌词写的像自己,我们开心的时候听的是音乐,伤心的时候,慢慢懂得了歌词,而真正打动你的不是歌词,而是在你的生命中,关于那首歌的故事…… 或许,在我们每个人的内心深处,都藏着一段如烟的往事,不经阳光,不经雨露,任岁月的青苔覆盖,而突然间,在某个拐角,或者某间咖啡厅,你突然听到了一首歌,或是你熟悉的旋律,刹那间,你泪如雨下,即使你不愿意去回忆,可是瞬间便触碰了你心中最柔软的地方,荡起了心灵最深处的涟漪,这就是音乐的神奇,音乐的魅力! 【三】 德国作曲家,维也纳古典音乐代表人贝多芬,49岁时已经完全失聪,然而,他的成名曲【命运交响曲】却是震惊世界,震撼我们的心灵,在他的音乐世界里,你能感受到生命的悲怆,岁月的波澜,和与命运的抗衡,这就是音乐赋予的力量! 贝多芬说:音乐是比一切智慧、一切哲学更高的启示,谁能渗透我音乐的意义,便能超脱寻常人无以自拔的苦难。 其实,人生就是一次漫长的旅行,一场艰难的跋涉,无论遇见怎样的风景,繁华过后,终归平淡,无论遇见还是告别,相聚亦是别离,我们都应该怀着感恩的心,善待生命,善待自己…… 每一首歌都是一个故事,每一段音乐都是一段过往,不知哪首歌里写满了你的故事?哪段音乐有你最美的回忆?想念一个人的时候,是否在安静的夜晚?悲伤的时候,是否单曲循环?高兴时分,是否在音乐里手舞足蹈? 我喜欢音乐,没有任何理由,音乐是我灵魂的伴侣,是我生活的知己,它能懂我的喜,伴我的忧,伴随着淡淡的旋律,它便融入我的生命,浸透我的灵魂。 我喜欢音乐,音乐不仅仅是一种艺术享受,还能丰富我的生活,给我带来创作灵感,一首歌,或一句歌词,都是我写作的素材,都是我灵感的源泉,它犹如涓涓细流,汩汩流淌,令我思绪翩翩,令我意象浓浓…… 当我忧伤的时候,我喜欢在音乐里漫步,当我快乐的的时候,我喜欢在音乐里起舞,当我迷茫困惑的时候,唯有音乐,才是我最好的陪伴…… 【四】

红尘喧嚣,世事沧桑,三千烟火,韶光迷离,我们在尘世间行走,凡尘琐事总会困扰于心,我已经习惯了,将浅浅的心事蕴藏在文字里,将淡淡的忧伤释怀在音乐中,委婉的旋律,环绕于耳,凄美的歌词,萦绕于心, 当我累了,倦了,我只想置身于音乐的海洋,忘记凡尘,忘记喧嚣,安静的去听一首歌……