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to persuade Hank that it made more sense to buy the boring but dependable car; but he would not be swayed. Previously she would have acceded to his wishes. This time Dora bought the “boring-but-dependable” car, and steeled herself for Hank’s anger. To her amazement, he spoke not a word of 11)remonstrance. When she later told him what she had expected, he scoffed at her fears, and said she should have done what she wanted from the start if she felt that strongly about it. As Dora discovered, a little conflict won’t kill you. At the same time, men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation.

When we don’t see style diffe-rences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: “You’re illogical,” “You’re self-centered,” “You don’t care about me.” But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from 12)spiraling out of control.

为了避免争吵,一些女人不会公开反对他人的意愿。但有时,如果女人能不畏导致冲突的风险而大胆说出自己的想法,事情可以好办得多。

多拉驾驶过一系列令她心烦的二手车。是她自己开车进城上班,但却是她丈夫汉克选车。汉克总是青睐那些“有意思”却需要频频修理的车。有一次出了意外,多拉的刹车失灵,几乎使她丧命。事后他们又到市场去物色二手车。多拉想从一个朋友那买一辆最新款的小轿车。汉克却独独对一辆已有十五年车龄的跑车很欣赏。她试图说服汉克,买一辆款式普通但性能可靠的车更有意义。但他就是坚持己见。若在以前,她一定会顺从丈夫的意愿。但这一次,多拉买了那辆“款式普通但性能可靠”的车,并坚强地预备应对汉克的怒火。令她惊讶的是,他没有说任何反对的话。后来她告诉了他自己先前的预料,他笑她担心太多了,并且说,既然她这么有自己的想法,她从一开始就应该照自己的意愿去做。于是多拉发现,一场小争吵没什么大不了的。同时,为了减少冲突,习惯了质疑他人的男性也可以调整他们的交谈方式。

当我们没有看到男女思维的差异时,我们有时会得出不公正的论断,如“你不讲道理”,“你只顾自己”,“你不关心我”。然而一旦我们掌握了这两种各具特色的思维方式,我们就更有可能控制争辩,防止它一发而不可收拾。

Unit6

Class of 1977

1977 Exam Opened Escape Route Into China’s Elite

By DAVID LAGUE Published: January 6, 2008

BEIJING — In the autumn of 1977, as relative calm returned to China after the decade-long chaos of the Cultural Revolution, An Ping was laboring in the countryside where she had been sent, like millions of other young people from the cities, to learn from the peasants.

北京报道——1977年秋,这是文革十年动乱后中国恢复相对平静的一年,安平像几百万其他来自城里的年轻人一样,被下放到农村劳动,向贫下中农学习。

For two years Ms. An, an army general‘s daughter, fed pigs and chickens and tended crops on a commune outside Beijing, while living in unheated dormitories and going hungry.

在那两年中,安平——这个将军的女儿,住在没有暖气的宿舍并时常挨饿,她的工作是喂猪喂鸡,照看北京郊区那片属于公社的玉米地。

Though Mao had died the year before, and the radical Gang of Four, who had directed the Cultural Revolution in his name, were in custody, there was little sign that Ms. An and other ―sent down‖ urban youths would be allowed to return home. 虽然毛泽东已于1976年去世,以毛泽东名义领导文化大革命的四人帮激进分子也被关押着,但是几乎没有迹象表明和安女士一样被下放到农村的知青们将被允许返还家园。

―For the first time I felt life was not worth it,‖ said Ms. An, who was 19 then. ―If you had asked me to go on living this kind of life, I would rather die.‖

安女士19岁的时候曾说过―这是生平第一次我感受到活着根本没有价值‖。―如果你要我继续过那种生活,我宁可死。‖

Then, in late October 1977, village authorities relayed the news that China would hold its first nationwide university entrance examination since 1965, shortly before academic pursuits were subordinated to political struggle. In acknowledgment of more than a decade of missed opportunity, candidates ranging in age from 13 to 37 were allowed to take the exam.

1977年的十月下旬,各村政府向知青们传达了中国将举行自1965年被废除的第一次全国性高考,而不久前学术追求还从属于政治斗争。由于这十来年来大家丧失了接受教育的机会,所以13到37岁的报名者都被允许参与考试。

For Ms. An and a whole generation consigned to the countryside, it was the first chance to escape what seemed like a life sentence of tedium and hardship. A pent-up reservoir of talent and ambition was released as 5.7 million people took the two-day exam in November and December 1977, in what may have been the most competitive scholastic test in modern Chinese history. 对于安女士和整整这一代被下放到农村的知青来说,这是摆脱类似无期徒刑的枯燥和困苦的第一次机会。被压抑许久的人才和他们的雄心壮志终于得到了解放,570万人参加了1977年11月和12月举行的为期两天的考试,这可能是中国现代史上最富竞争力的学术应试。 The 4.7 percent of test-takers who won admission to universities — 273,000 people — became known as the class of ‘77, widely regarded in China as the best and brightest of their time. By comparison, 58 percent of the nine million exam-takers in 2007 won admission to universities, as educational opportunities have greatly expanded.

参加这次高考的人中仅有百分之四点七,也就是273 000人获得上大学的机会,他们成为了大家熟知的77届,他们被普遍认为是中国那个时期最优秀最聪明的人。相比之下,2007年全国有9百万人参加了高考,由于大学扩招,其中的百分之五十八的人获得进入大学的机会。 Now, three decades later, the powerful combination of intellect and determination has taken many in this elite group to the top in politics, education, art and business. Last October, one successful applicant who had gone on to study law and economics at Peking University, Li Keqiang, was brought into the Chinese Communist Party‘s decision-making Politburo Standing Committee, where he is being watched as a possible successor to President Hu Jintao or Prime Minister Wen Jiabao.

三十年后的今天,智慧和决心的强强联合使得77届这个精英集团中的许多人成为政界、教育界、艺术界以及商界的风云人物。去年十月,当年就读于北京大学法律和经济学专业的李克强开始任职于中国共产党的决策班子政治局常务委员会。他被认为是胡锦涛主席和温家宝总理的继任人选之一。

―They were a very bright bunch, and they knew it,‖ said Robin Munro, research director for the Hong Kong-based China Labor Bulletin, who was a British exchange student at Peking University in 1978, when those freshmen arrived.

―他们是一个特别聪明的群体,他们自己也清楚这一点,‖以香港为基地的《中国劳工通讯》调查主任罗宾梦曾说过。1978年当那些新生刚到北京大学时,他正作为英国交换生在北大学习。

―They were the first students in 10 years let into university on merit, and they were going places.‖ ―他们是那10年中根据考试成绩录取的第一批学生,此后他们就任于各个地方。‖

But back in 1977, most had only a few desperate weeks to prepare for the examination that would change their lives. The timing was especially daunting for those who had been cut off from schooling for years. All over China, students found themselves scrambling to find textbooks, seeking out former tutors and straining to recall half-forgotten formulas.

但是回到1977年,大部分的人只有几周的时间来拼命准备那场将改变他们命运的考试。当时的时机对那些早已离开学校多年的学生来说是特别令人气馁的。整个中国的学生都在争抢着找寻教科书,寻找以前的导师,试图回忆起那些被遗忘了的公式的蛛丝马迹。

Ms. An, who now works in New York as the director of public relations for Committee of 100, a Chinese-American advocacy group, exaggerated the seriousness of a back injury and took a month‘s medical leave, which she devoted to studying.

现在在纽约就职的安女士,领导着一个百人的公共关系委员会,这是一个华裔宣传小组。当时她夸大了她背部的伤情,请了一个月的病假,并把这一个月的时间用于学习。 ―I had to succeed,‖ she said. ―我必须成功,‖ 她说。

The examination tested not only academic subjects, but also political correctness. 这场考试考的不仅是学科知识,也检查着人们的政治―觉悟‖。

Han Ximing, now 50 and a Chinese literature professor at Nanjing Audit University, said she felt she was already well prepared to handle political questions from careful study of the party line in official newspapers in rural Jiangsu Province.

现年50岁的韩西冥是南京审计学院的中文系教授,她说当时在江苏省的农村中通过学习官方报纸中的党的路线,使她举得应对这种政治问题已是胸有成竹了。

For years, the papers had been filled with criticism of Deng Xiaoping. ―That was a big topic,‖ she said. ―Actually, I had no idea why Deng was supposed to be so bad.‖

许多年来,这些报纸都充满了对邓小平的批评。―那是一个很大的话题,‖她说。―其实,当时我也不明白为何邓小平被形容得如此糟糕。‖

In reality, it was the return of Deng, the veteran Communist leader, to a position of power in Beijing after the fall of the Gang of Four that led to the reinstatement of the annual exam, and a return to the pragmatism that would soon ignite decades of explosive economic growth.

事实上,正是由于邓小平,这位经验丰富的共产党领导在四人帮倒台后重新回到政治舞台,才促成了高考的恢复,和实用主义的回归,这使得中国往后几十年的经济开始了腾飞。 Among those who have assumed positions of power, aside from Mr. Li of the Politburo, are Zhou Qiang, the governor of Hunan Province; Wang Yi, party secretary of the Foreign Affairs Ministry and a former ambassador to Japan; and Jin Liqun, vice president of the Asian Development Bank. 除了政治局常委的李先生,那些位居要职的77届还有湖南省省长周强;外交部党委书记及前中国驻日大使李毅;以及亚洲发展银行的副总裁金立群。

Artistic talent to emerge from the class of ‘77 includes the filmmakers Zhang Yimou (―Raise the Red Lantern‖) and Chen Kaige (―Farewell My Concubine‖), and the writer Chen Cun.

77届涌现出的艺术人才还包括电影制作人张艺谋(《大红灯笼高高挂》),陈凯歌(《霸王别姬》),还有作家陈村。

―To be immodest, it was a phenomenal generation,‖ said Fan Haoyi, now 50, who earned a chance to study French at the Beijing Institute of Foreign Languages (now the Beijing Foreign Studies University), a stepping stone to a business career in Africa and Europe. ―We had a rage to learn.‖ ―不谦虚地说,我们这代人是杰出的一代,‖ 现年50岁的范蒿仪说。当年他就读于北京外国语学院(现如今的北京外国语大学),这成为他在非洲和欧洲的事业跳板。―我们都能狠下心来学。‖

Many successful candidates said they felt they had been given a priceless opportunity, and they were determined to make the most of it. ―We were not just gifted, we also worked really hard,‖ said Ms. Han, the literature professor.

许多成功的考生说他们觉得他们被赋予了极其宝贵的机会,他们决心充分利用它。―我们不仅仅有天赋,我们也学得非常努力,‖文学教授韩女士说。 Still, not everyone jumped at the chance to take the exam. 不过,并非每个人都能抓住这次高考的机会。

After years when privilege and opportunity were reserved for the offspring of senior officials or people with approved class backgrounds, many prospective candidates doubted that the test would be fair. Others were reluctant to give up the security of even menial jobs. 多年后,当特权和机会为高官子弟或者特权阶级所保留时,许多考生开始怀疑这场考试的公平性。其他人则不愿放弃即使是能得到琐碎工作的安全感。

For Ms. An, the desire to escape her rural life was tempered by the conviction that taking the exam was risky. Relations between the farmers and students were complex; if she failed and was forced to return to the village, she worried that she would be given all the dirty jobs. 对于安女士来说,清楚参加这场考试的风险使得她渴望摆脱乡村生活的愿望更加坚定了。农民和学生的关系是很复杂的;如果她高考失败了,她就会被送回农村,她最担心的事是她将得到的是最脏最累的工作。

―They didn‘t like us being there because they had to share their land,‖ she said. ―But if we tried to leave, they would think we looked down on them.‖

―他们不喜欢我们待在那儿,因为他们必须和我们共享他们的土地,‖ 她说。―但是如果我们试图离开,他们会觉得我们看不起他们。‖